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Monday, January 24, 2022

My life Story : part 2

 Everything to be in a sorted manner and to remember everything is quite difficult, but I should start the writings and matter would start to come to my mind I think.

So till 3rd class, I was there where my father did his job. Then he got a transfer to a remote area so we came back to our hometown. I had done some schooling in class 4th and then when it was said to me that we are going to leave that place, it was a full of feelings moment for me. I was not told everything clear.

When we reached home, I was free of any school or anything. It was like a holiday session for me.

But I till that time had started to take some interests in family affairs by my side. I came to know that my father has not been allocated a new place yet and we were somewhat sort on economic side too. I had the tendency to get tensed easily, and mom used to convince me. Butr I never worked on my character defects and they have grown. Now also sometimes I feel these kind of emotional fatigues but now I have one more bad side, I can't that easily put my trust on somebody in order to feel better.

I remember when we came home, my elder brothers went to talk to a truck owner, negotiate with him and set the deal to transport us to our hometown along with our all of belongings. I was also with them, and came to know by their talks that they had made a good fair deal. I was always impressed with my heroes, my elder brothers.

After a month I had to go to school, I was always somewhat loving towards rides, far places etc I think.

I choose the school that was farthest from home. Well there were other reasons also, as one of my best knowers then and now, my nephew was reading there. And another nephew, many years older, was teaching there. And also my eldest brother had passed from that school.

I used to pick the bus after walking for some 200 meter walk to the main road from my home. Later on this became my time for buying all shitty stuff and sometimes bluffing about missing the bus, or bunking etc.

But in class 4th, there were 3-4 more peoples besides me who use to take bus from there. One was in class 1st, and one was my classmate and his brother also read in same school 2 classes ahead. I developed a very strong bonding with that friend in due course of my schooling and also I used to visit his home and he used to come to mine.

But I had a character defect of getting angry early when things were not coming to my side.

This led me to several quarrels with my family and my friends, I was also very cunning. I had no quarrels with the strong persons or with those who I didn't knew, but always used to get angry on peoples whom I knew would forgive me the next moment. I was an emotional blackmailer.



Thursday, January 13, 2022

My life story : childhood memoirs(Part 1)

 Hey there. Today I am going to write on my childhood. I am 27 years old at present.

Going back in memory lane, I remember the times I first went to the place where my father's work center was. He was a Headmaster at that time. When we first reached there, I remember the first incident. My mother was sitting and seeing me. I had never been to school till then. She allowed me to go a little further in the verandah and there were stairs. I went some ahead to the stairs and then the stairs had a L turn , where I thought that world has ended and there is nothing ahead as I was unable to see further due to the bend in the stairs. But I was never afraid, all I had to do was to get back to my loved ones because the belief system was there in place. 

            There I had friends whom I remember till now. Firstly I was sent to an school that was just ahead of our home there. I went two or three days but I continued to keep running back to home after prayer or first period as I remember. Childhood insecurities, and I holded them for so long.

            The day my father bought me dress for that school was the last day in that school for me.. What an irony !!!!!

            Then I was taken to an English Medium Public School 1-2 kms away from our home and there was van service there. I was excited to go there. As I am writing, I am seeing these traits that were due to my childhood at that time, I was unable to leave them in time and develop on them.

                So I went to this new school. I made friends there. I was an obedient guy. Actually all the school was obedient as it was upto 6th class only and what would someone expect from childs of this age.

           Also there all knew me as my father was posted nearby in a government school, and it was a village area. 

        I secured first rank always during my stay there till class 3rd, don't know if that was mercy of Teachers or something.

            At that time I used to go in walks as it was a jungle area between two shop areas, I used to go with my Father, sometimes mother or Brothers. I remember my father used to tell stories about great peoples, places and all the great things. I was a good learner and liked it so much. But I also enjoyed perks my earlier siblings hadn't. I was given something from the shop on a daily basis, and liked that part most sometimes for the thing or sometimes the offers the had i.e. the gifts that came free with them.


    I was diagnosed with Hepatitis once in early age. And I had enrolled myself in karate training that happened in our school and once we went for competition in nearby town. I don't know how my parents were convinced about my going there, probably it was because there was our instructor too with us and many other schoolmates, some elders and some of same class. There I had a bad stomach and was popping out in pants continuously and had to wash them by my own.... Somehow the trip was over and we were back home.......I also was eliminated in first round........ There I saw a PYTHON for first time which was a tamed one.

And probably a lake so nearby for the first time also......

I bought some toy from the pocket money I had got and was submitted to our Karate Sir, as we called him.


Now I will continue in PART 2


    

Sunday, July 5, 2020

SOME QUOTES OF MINE.....ON LIFE

God is like the Sea......everlasting and everbeing
We are like the tides that come out of sea, fulfill our task and go back to that sea.....

Sometimes all the things you've found all in lives may not be right for you and you've got to loose them all...we would be fearful that where do we land now, but carefully thinking one should find out that we just got upgraded and new doors are open for us.... So don't fear to change.....

Sunday, March 4, 2018

How to be good again.....after all these years #recovery

OHM NAMAH SHIVAY. Hello all . Today is a good day for me as all days. This is so because today I did all my morning routines like praying to god, remembring the soul purpose of life in being good and being more and more closer to god. I am thankful to GOD ,the NA program,and to all peoples around . I am happy that journey of life has placed me in a positive and good point today and I shall be living as this entire life under my willpower and grace of god, through proper wisdom, a positive thinking and good deeds all together.
About me : I was an active addict as some of the earlier posts also show my attraction towards poisonous substances. Yes it is a poison that will pollute our body and soul in a pretty negative way and will lead to death , slow death and more than death prior to it the death of our spirits and all happiness.

Once I am clean now,now is the time to recover from the loss it did to ourselves and the surroundings as much as we could. This is a process that will go lifelong as addiction is a disease that will tempt us from time to time and we have to be alert always to stay away from it. Now if life has given a chance for us to be able to live with all the loved ones once again with no faulty or wrong side of us , we should try to be able to listen to our soul that is the way to peace and goodness, be patient, calm and cool and strive for success. Listen to heart and unleash the true godly aspect of yourselfes.
DO GOOD......THATS THE WAY TO BE GOOD AGAIN.......and be sure to thank and forgive and move ahead in life....thinking about the harm and try to feel and correct the harm we have done to society and be a role model....It all will be good from start to last....BELIVE IN GOD and in ourselves. 

Monday, December 4, 2017

Truth is god.... How

Truth is the way to god and true person finds god in every aspect of his life. This means that truth is god. And truth is good. Firstly what do I mean from god here. He is the ever present reality. The truth of all things present everywhere. Like we call rivers holy, mountains devine and all other creatures as connected or creations of god. If we have a practice of speaking with truth, we continuously get in touch and graced by all these aspects of the almighty nature i.e. God. If we don't speak truth in our daily habit though, we will never be able to experience such aura as we will become confused in ourselves only. This is why we should speak truth always and experience the God inside and in everything... Om namah Shivay
Om namah bhagwate vasudevay.
Satyam shivam Sundaram.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Krishna ::: the divine god...

He is the parmeshwar.... The highest of all..... He is loving, always protecting lord.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

About myself in these few years

Hello all. This is my personal post. Means personal in the sense that I am writing about myself a little. It all started in 1994 as I was born. I took my initial education upto class 3rd at a place in nainital district. There I lived with my family in rented room. My hometown is Pithoragarh and I was born here. I read from class 4th to 12th here. The name of school was Maharishi Vidya Mandir. Here too I made a lot of friends some of them well many of them meet me now a days too. I was a good guy so always in cool mode. But after class 8th I started taking some poisonous substances that would have surely sooner or later effected my health. So after 12th I decided to join a costly private engineering college but my full concentration there was on masti and getting laid by substances all day long. Time came when I realised that I have lost much and now I must leave the college. But I never stopped and for next some years I continuously made myself an more dangerous addict. Accidents and faults happened and I think I am over it just by grace of the world that they let me too. I failed in my another graduation programme too. Well I disrespected studies at that point of my life and it let me roaming that bad way a few years ahead too. Then the time came for real suffering and I just went mad screaming and sometimes being over angry and hurting my parents physically and mentally. Then I went to some little paid job but the negative thing was I never stopped my addict habits.
I had few breakdowns there too. After all a positive thing happened and I chose a rehab center and lived for 6 months there. There I found that god is with me that took away my negativity for life. I had also tried a few attempts for giving up life previously. But then I become a changed man. But after coming back to my home in a few days I was back taking the things no matter how they hurt me in the past. Addiction is a sure disease that continues to haunt... But my ways were now positive and now one year after all this I have finally quit all my habits, old thinking and now decided to live in a good way.,as i've seen my surroundings do... Its been a fantastic support by all of the people and now i decide not to look back........ Let god be with you... He will take all your pains and sufferings. Ohm.

Friday, October 27, 2017

God is in all of us

God is almighty... The highest of all... But where is he? He is here inside each of us.

After a long time

After a long time, I am here in front of all readers and think this time its gonna be a long stay..... The reason for this long absence was lack of communication medium but now its all in place....
Enjoy some great quotes and more....

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Passed out ma exam

Hey guys yoy all will be glad to know that i have successfully passed my first sem exam

Friday, February 3, 2017

Quote

I am not lonely i am just silent.....

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Another day.... Where do I stand

It has been another day in my life.. Like all the times today I woke up t morning,went for a walk and then went back to my home..
Just then a thought came to my mind that daily same pattern,same ways of life,drinking an smoking,what is the meaning of my today... So i decided to quote a song "as i will be older i will be stronger"
and then thought about it....
Yes it is the thing we all are doing,cutting each and every moment of life with same grace and a good attitude just in waiting for something to happen for us....  That is life.... That's the truth.....
So the answer for my question is.... We are dwelling from life each day and as we go older,more and more we have with us just to see what we have achieved  along the way.....

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Dreams in our mind

The origin of dreams......

Our mind stores every single instant of time through our life and all of the thoughts that would have came at that instant.
                         So many thoughts we complete in that instant , some thoughts are missed by mind and remain unexpressed. These thoughts are stored as they were in our passive mind. These thoughts may be considered as a reaction towards an common inception,theory or something else, characterising some kind of curiosity.
These thoughts are somewhat multi layered and our mind stores them relating these thoughts with similar feelings from previous memories.
Brain makes a picturistic and illusionary scene that we see in one moment only so it becomes in explainable.
          In sleep, when brain is the only thing working though, brain starts to project. The similar feeling thus relating them to different time instance in a way they were originally captured and combines each of the memories to makeup a dream corresponding to that time feeling thus makinga strong relaxing illusionary scene that leads a person know his perfect emotional and thinking health and most commonly gives a pretty relaxing experience that relates towards the length of the dream.

Friday, July 4, 2014

World cup football 2014 game

Try this new crazy football game. [Football WorldCup 2014] - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.yes.game.mobile.football.worldcup

Thursday, November 21, 2013

NIRVANA : MORE THAN A FEELING




live performance by the band........................enjoy.........................
follow me at : twitter.com\Puspesh11277

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